Family Issues

EthoPlasìn is an educational institution. Apart from, and previous to, school considerations, Education is essentially an issue having to do with children and the way they are raised by their families in collaboration with their schools. This means EthoPlasìn is closely related to Family issues. In conformity with its firm policy of full transparency, EthoPlasìn wants to let people know openly the related objectives it will fight for, strongly lobbying for them with all democratic means available.   

All the suggestions below, made by members, reflect the following dramatic reality: it is scientifically demonstrated that because of their low birth rates at the moment practically none of the western countries of the northern hemisphere will be able to maintain their beautiful original cultures, acquired through hundreds of years of most meritorious efforts, for much more than just another generation; It is also clear that the main reason for the low birth rate at the moment is the financial restriction families would face if they decided to have bigger families. Couples wanting to grow bigger families should thus be helped with clear policies, concrete incentives and an appropriate framework of family and taxation laws. This is a vital requirement if we want the survival of Civilization the way we intend it at the moment, and want to keep it for future generations (see video below);    

For a complete picture on these issues, this page should be read in concurrence with the other pages of this series, but in particular the page on Philoecosophical Issues, for aspects in that page having to do with condominium facilities and children civic behavior and entertainment. 

• The following suggestions are presented as spontaneously conceived by members for the purpose of the Suggestions Registry, without major concern for form or coordination with other pages, even if sometimes they are somewhat too idealistic or provocative to be implemented exactly as formulated. They are nevertheless good 'hot' food for thought.  

• It is also important to stress that although the following suggestions are interesting ones, submitted by members, they are not necessarily the official ones of the EthoPlasìn. The official ones are in three other pages. The first 2 refer to short term EthoPlasìn objectives: Basic Entry Rules to Become a Member, and Lobbying To Change The World . The third one refers to long term EthoPlasìn objectives: EthoCracy.

1. Marriage vs. Wedding - There should be two completely different types of contracts uniting couples: a Marriage and a Wedding. A Marriage would be a most serious and tightening contract while a Wedding would be a much looser one. There would however be many clear advantages for couples to go for a more demanding Marriage contract, as opposed to a Wedding, essentially in terms of important tax cuts and incentives, from their first child on, in order to encourage the married couple to bear more children in a stable environment and grow them more comfortably from a financial point of view. In turn, the advantage of a loose Wedding would be the possibility of an easy way out of the contract with limited financial consequences. The loose Wedding however would not include any of the important tax cuts and incentives granted to couples united in a tight Marriage. If a couple in a loose Wedding agreement decided to have more than two children, they would have to transform their Wedding into a Marriage in order to start enjoying the important tax cuts and incentives of married couples. They would not however be allowed to do so before their third child is in the coming, and only starting with the birth of that third child.  

2. Marriage vs. Parriage - The word "Parriage" is being coined here on the basis of the word "par", in the sense of "parity", or a "pair" as opposed to a "couple", that is a form of contract between a pair of persons on a par basis, because they are of the same sex, into a legal situation that would otherwise be called a "marriage" if it involved 2 persons of the opposite sex. In other words, except for the useful initial distinguishing letters, "M" and "P", EthoPlasìn is not opposed to what the popular media call improperly "marriage for all" or "same-sex marriage", but with different names specific to the kinds of relationship involved. For EthoPlasìn, the words 'couple' and 'marriage' are strictly reserved for relations between 2 persons of the opposite sex. The corresponding words for two persons of the same sex are 'pair' and 'parriage'. As seen in other pages, EthoPlasìn does not encourage, but does not either oppose homosexual relations, as long as they do not involve anal sex, which is always prohibited to members, in both its homosexual and heterosexual versions. This is what EthoPlasìn calls Nasex (or: No Anal Sex), as another new word being coined here. For members, nasexual relations are always acceptable, between adult couples (heterosexual) or pairs (homosexual), as long as they do not involve either any form of violence or pedophilia. These are the only 3 restrictions EthoPlasìn places on the sexual relations of its members, and only to its members (no anal sex, no violence and no pedophilia). In addition, as we will see next, for EthoPlasìn, a marriage is a sacred union meant to produce beautiful children of love. This is why EthoPlasìn also makes the 3 distinctions of sexual unions: marriage and wedding (for heterosexuals) and parriage for homosexuals. EthoPlasìn will accept members in a situation of marriage, or wedding and even parriage, let alone single persons, but will not allow members in a parriage union to adopt children lest lose their membership.       

3. Marriage or Sacred Union - A real Marriage, as opposed to a simple Wedding, should be contracted essentially to achieve the noble objective of bearing beautiful children of Love and growing them in a stable environment of Love. Ideally all marriages should thus be contracted strictly and exclusively on a basis of Love and stability, the mutual and pure Love of a man and a woman, the Blue Cosmic Love of Beautiful Blue Planet Earth that used to be the foundation of Ancient-Greece sacred unions celebrated and consumed on a night of full moon in an attempt to produce children of most Love, most Beauty and most Goodness. Only such Love and such marriages can constitute the proper prerequisites for achieving the above objective of growing beautiful children of Love. Ideally all children should only be procreated in such stable environment of Love, being profoundly desired with the pure Blue Cosmic Love of Beautiful Planet Earth from even before their actual conception and procreation. Only such Love should be the basis of a real Marriage. Only such marriages can bear children of Love, loving beings, desired, conceived and procreated to be loved and to love, and bear in turn more beings of Love in an infinite chain of procreative Love. Such sacred unions of procreative Love should be encouraged and helped by all means possible. They should be contracted in a 'Be-Lov-Arium' spirit, that is with Belief and Love, in order to better serve the 'Arium', that is to say the living environment of beings of Love, transparently from any social convenience or economic considerations, believing with assurance that proper assistance will be available if and when required in growing their beloved children. Children desired, procreated and raised this way are certainly more likely to become examples of Kallos Beauty and Goodness in their civic behavior for the rest of their lives, as more happy and pleasant human beings and neighbors for us to live with, all together as 'political animals', to use the philosophical expression of Aristotle.

4. Wedding - Two persons getting to live together as a couple for any other kind of main purpose, that is other than mainly bearing children in an environment of loving stability, like unions of convenience or for the mutual help of heterosexual or homosexual partners, in Love or not, should be achieved through an easy legal contract called a Wedding, not a Marriage proper. This is particularly true if the first priority of the couple is not to bear children, and the partners desire to have the possibility of getting out of the union if anything goes wrong or the situation faces particular difficulties. That type of union, a Wedding, in the absence of children, could well include time limitations, to review and renew, or not to renew, the contract, and easy ways out of the Wedding, on the basis of a mutual agreement, or of a court decision on conflictive contractual issues. No such contracts should be called a 'Marriage', only a 'Wedding' (or any other appropriate name other than 'marriage' in various other languages).

   • Only stable marriages and mothers encouraged and assisted in their natural primary role in educating children can save our society from its present decadence. Well provided Maternal Affection is the essential base of proper education, and the key to the survival of our civilization from a civic point of view, as expressed in the beautiful sculpture to the right ("Maternal Affection", by Edward Hodges Baily - 1788/1867 - property of the Victoria and Albert Museum in London, England). 

5. Married for minimum 16 years - A Marriage in turn, in the case of a couple with children, should not be breakable by legal separation or divorce until the youngest child is at least 16, except when there are most serious reasons like physical violence, sexual abuse or other criminal activity of some kind affecting the life of the children or of one of the partners. A Marriage should thus be a most serious and unbreakable engagement for at least 16 years. This particularly demanding engagement however, as seen further down, would have both substantial financial compensations and the WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) safety valve. Following the same logic, a couple under Marriage contract who has not had children after 5 years, or got confirmation they cannot have any, because of either partner, should be able to transform their Marriage into a Wedding if they both agreed and then get easily separated or divorced quickly as per their wishes.

6. Financial Assistance to Married Parents growing children -  Parents who contacted a tight Marriage for a minimum of 16 years, for the purpose of bearing children, should be assisted with all sorts of means and incentives. Each child, from the first one, born to married parents as opposed to wedded parents, should bring parents a reduction of their overall family taxes by 10%: all taxes, be they national, provincial, federal, municipal etc. Parents with six children below 16 for example, married and living stably with their children, would get a 60% reduction of all their taxes. If these parents needed a car with more than the regular 5 seats, with 8 seats in this case, they would get a government bonus for the 3 extra seats, that is 3/8 of the price of the new car. If their house or apartment were too small for 8 persons they should get a government loan without interest for changing accommodation and for getting the amount of additional space needed to accommodate the whole family comfortably. No such tax breaks or grants of any kind would be given to parents who did not contract a Marriage proper but only a loose Wedding. If couples under a simple Wedding contract got more than 2 children and wanted the above financial advantages, they would have to transform their Wedding into a regular Marriage contract for up to 16 years, that is for until their youngest child gets to be 16 but, in order to encourage couples to sign a Marriage contract from the beginning and get more than two children, couples under a Wedding contract would not be allowed to do so until their third child is in the coming.  For wedded parents to enjoy any financial benefit given to a married couple for a particular child, at any stage, they would also have to have had transformed their wedding into a marriage before that child was age 10.

7. Married Parents With Children Age 16 - If the parents are united by a Marriage instead of a Wedding, or have transformed their Wedding into a Marriage before the child got to be age 10, and they are still married when that child gets to be 16, not only do they not loose their 10% rebate on all their taxes, but they get an additional 10% rebate on all taxes for the next 2 years as long as they stay married during those 2 years. Stable families, with a pattern of particularly responsible behavior of the parents involved, deserve more assistance for the growing needs of their children at age 16 and launch these children successfully towards a better independent future when they get to be of age. 

8. Married Parents With Children Age 18 - If the parents are united by a Marriage instead of a Wedding, or have transformed their Wedding into a Marriage before the child got to be age 10, and they are still married when a child gets to be 18, and if the child is still a dependent because he is a full time student or handicapped, not only do they not loose their 20% rebate on all taxes, but they also get free education fees from all public schools for that child or a reimbursement of equivalent education fees from private schools. The same thing happens at university level for as long as the children are studying at university and keep passing their school years successfully at university level. If not, all tax rebates stop for that child. If the child gets to be 18 and stops studying or stays at home without working, all tax rebates also stop. If the child starts working, he can get a 20% rebate of all his own taxes for the first 2 years of work, in order to assist him to become independent through his work as soon as possible.

   • Without them, there is no future, as there is no solution to the profound low birth rate crisis we are in at the moment to preserve our high levels of culture and civilization as we know and cherish them. They deserve full recognition and assistance, let alone the profound gratitude of all of us.

9. Salary to Pregnant Women - Being pregnant and in particular raising children is a real occupation, a most difficult and noble one, and a vital one for our countries to be able to maintain the levels of culture and civilization that we cherish: it took hundreds of years to acquire them and without recognition and encouragement to women for their vital role in resolving the deep low birth rate crisis we are in at the moment, these levels could be lost in the space of a couple of generations. Pregnant women staying at home to better take care of themselves and their future children should thus get a basic salary from the state until their children get admitted to the first year of primary school. They fully and eminently deserve it. Women deserve receiving it as a monthly check in their own name for the first 7 years of their children, in addition to the long term 10% reduction of all family taxes for each child brought to existence as outlined above. That basic salary should be equivalent to at least the average level of unemployment insurance benefits currently allowed for their levels of studies and qualifications. If they already work and leave their jobs entirely, this insurance would start on leaving their jobs. If they work with job contracts providing for pregnancy benefits, and their employers allow them not to abandon their jobs, they could alternatively follow that route, without receiving their basic state salaries. If they do not work, the state benefits would start on the date of the confirmation of their pregnancies. That insurance would continue unchanged until the child gets to be three years of age. At that time, the mother would loose 10% of her salary until the child gets to be five and admissible to a kindergarten. Alternatively, if she got pregnant again during those three years, she would instead get a 10% increase in her basic state salary. The same would apply for each child she may decide to have during her period of high fertility in an uninterrupted chain of pregnancies not separated by more than 3 years. When the last child of such pregnancy chain would get to be 5, and admissible to the kindergarten, she would loose 10% of her benefits for each child she has. When the last child of the chain would get to be 7 or get admitted in the first year of primary school, she would loose her state salary and take advantage of only the 10% reduction of all the family taxes for each dependent child as outlined above.

10. Family Reunification Assistance - If the above family of six children also wants to have 2 grand-parents coming in to live with them, all together, as a group of 10 persons, they should get a government loan without interest for changing their home, equivalent to the value of the additional space they need for their extended family. Extended families could also include unmarried close relatives and particularly old, sick or handicapped family members. Similar loans should in particular be available for the reunification in the same building of various units of the same family living in separate places: this would favor collaboration and mutual assistance without too much invasion of the privacy of new families. All family reunification efforts should be assisted as much as possible if done in priority in the same building but also in the same home, same building or next building, but not further away. The retired grand-parents of these regrouped families could also easily be helpful as condominium rotational baby sitters, for all the other non-relative parents living in the building, taking turns on the new Condominium First Floors with compulsory open relaxing and playing areas, as suggested in our separate page of suggestions on Philoecosophical Issues.

11. Extended Family and Micro-Criminality - An extended family can do a lot to help fight micro-criminality on the part of youths. A child entering in conflict with his parents, or one of them, typically an adolescent boy with his father, can sometimes easily find somebody else, in the another adults of the extended family living with them, or close to them, as a counter-balancing factor. This could be for example the loving grandfather or the protective unmarried sister of the father living with the family or in the same building. Without such compensating factor, the conflict can easily lead a youth directly on the way to micro-criminality activities. This is an additional reason why family reunification, done in a way that does not invade too much the privacy of the main family unit, is a positive factor for educational purposes. See our page on Micro-Criminality Issues for more information on this subject.  

12. National Policy - All these benefits however would apply only to nationals of the country granting them and only for nationals wanting to live within the country granting them. If non-nationals wanted any such benefits, they would have to first acquire citizenship.  

13. Abortion - No abortion should be allowed except under a very strict set of conditions, like to save the life of the mother, or to avoid the birth of children that are positively confirmed to be very deformed or sick to the point of expecting to live as completely handicapped persons not able to provide for themselves in a normal life for the rest of their earthly existence. In this latter case however, couples could alternatively chose to have the child but with appropriate additional support from the government: they would have the choice and, in either case, be appropriately supported. Children procreated through violence, like rape, and not loved by the bearing woman, in particular if hated by the bearing woman, should be left to the simple decision of the bearing woman to bear them or not, but with a final resolution within maximum 7 weeks of the procreation date. Ideally no child should be procreated on a basis of violence, and be born on a basis of hate, but only brought to an earthly life on a basis of Love. 

14. Divorce - Divorce should exist, but it should be more difficult for marriages than it is for weddings. In a Marriage as conceived above, these is a firm commitment for the couple to stay together for until their youngest child reached age 16, receiving many financial benefits from the state for doing so. If the couple bears no children after 5 years or discovers they will not be able to bear children for any reason, that couple should be able to divorce just like couples who contracted a simple wedding but, when children were born to a Marriage, there should be a penalty. The penalty would be in terms of alimony being paid essentially to the children, spent through the joint control of financial tutors, as opposed to directly and to the exclusive control of the the spouse keeping the children as it is usually the case now. This would ensure the children would get the main benefits of the alimony, and not the spouse looking after them. The divorcing married couple should also pay a fine for a proportion of the state benefits they have received so far. This fine should be for the amount of benefits the married couple has received from the state in the last two years of marriage.  

15. Adultery - Outside of Marriage, sex should be free, entirely free but nevertheless under good control, and within the limits expressed in our page on Rule 3 of the EthoPlasìn Love Life and Discipline. In a Wedding, sex would be subject to the limits included in the Wedding contract but adultery would not be a 'crime' unless included specifically in the Wedding contract. In a Marriage, adultery would automatically be a 'crime' within the normal parameters of what exists today in each of our western countries. However, adultery by itself, as a fact, should never be an automatic cause of divorce for couples who contracted marriages, only adultery where, as a result, the judge is convinced that Love of the partners does not exist any more, in particular if he is convinced that Love has been replaced by an irreversible relation of hate. 

16. WLEW and DEDLA Marriage Safety Valves -  Couples entering a demanding Marriage relationship for at least 16 years (or until the youngest child is 16), as opposed to a looser Wedding relationship, as seen above, should be allowed, automatically and legally, to have a number of WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) each year, equivalent to the number of years they have been married, up to a maximum of 12 per year. Couples entering the looser relationship of a wedding could have WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) as an option in their contract. A WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) is a weekend when one of the married partners takes off explicitly for a full weekend to a secret destination, to the clear understanding and tacit acceptance of the other partner, to go out and meet with whatever person he/she chooses, for whatever purpose he/she wishes, including for possible sex intercourse, but not necessarily with a sexual intention. A WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) is a safety valve that applies to both the married male and the female partners equally. It is a safety valve that, if applied correctly, can even reinforce an established couple relationship, as a bit of jalousie sometimes does. There are three conditions to have a WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) legally. First condition: do it in complete discretion, without ever revealing the details of the weekend, nor in particular make them public, not to themselves, not to the rest of the family, and not to their common friends or acquaintances: not now, not soon, not later on nor ever in the future. If questioned, the WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) partner has the right, in fact the duty, and maybe also the intriguing pleasure, to use whatever White Lie is useful to maintain complete secrecy. Second condition: if sex is involved, the WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) partner has to ensure both secure and natural sex. Secure means taking the right measures and full responsibility for whatever happens from all points of view, including health. Natural means free sex but within the limits exposed in the guidelines of our page Rule 3 and the EthoPlasìn Love and Sex Life. These guidelines impose only 3 simple restrictions to complete freedom: no pedophile sex, no violent sex and no anal sex. Third condition: the partners of the married couple the WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) member is coming from accept in advance that the two of them will not have sex together for a full week after the return home of the WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) partner. This ensures minimal time to reflect and assess eventual consequences of the WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend), health wise and otherwise. The recent sexual revolution, after centuries of oppression and repression from that point of view, has helped new generations to finally gain their sexual liberty and to have much more enjoyable sex, but it has unfortunately also overdone it, with terrible exaggerations like open partner swapping, gross vulgarity, and the unnatural raising of children in family groups where few, if any, know for sure who is the real father, or even the real mother sometimes, of each child. WLiW would correct some of these exaggerations. Sex during a WLiW would not be considered dishonesty to the other married partner nor any kind of adultery, but rather a right included in the marriage contract. Be it clear that many WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) would not involve sex at all, but rather all sorts of other social or cultural activities that would be the expressions of the deepest desires of the WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) partner who cannot express these desires in normal conditions. This WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) safety valve would also protect the good image and the neatness of the couple in front of society, their acquaintances and in particular in front of their children, let alone in front of themselves. In the case of a formal Marriage, as conceived, in a very demanding way, by the EthoPlasìn philosophy, that safety valve should also probably reinforce the stability of the relationship to ensure the respect of the 'long' term commitment taken by the couple to stay together and give a stable image to their children of a strong relationship to their natural father and mother until the youngest child gets to be at least a sixteen year old. The complete discretion involved, using 'legally and joyfully' whatever White Lie is needed to maintain it, would also guarantee a much better civic decorum and avoid the widely spread situations of ugly scandals of vulgarity that seem to characterize most family situations in our contemporary world. In fact the WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) are a good compromise between the full personal sexual liberty finally acquired after centuries of oppression, which is to be saved and respected as much as possible, and the horrific mess of complete civic nihilistic vulgarity that was brought in by an unchecked exaggeration of this same beautiful liberty. Finally, secrecy on WLEW (White Lie Erotic Weekend) activity would also be a strong legal requirement to the point where a judge, in the case of a trial of divorce, would take it into consideration as a factor against the partner who broke the formal engagement of secrecy, and possibly even allow divorce on these grounds alone, if serious damage of image, or otherwise, was done to the other partner, to his/her family or career, or to his/her children because of the lack of full discretion. In our EthoCracy Reform talking about benefits for growing children in a more united families, we also talk about a more formal safety valve called DEDLA (Discrete Erotic Double Life Agreement).

    • As shown to the right, the Land of  Cockaigne was beautifully painted in 1567 by the peasant-dominated mind of Bruegel. It represented the dream of the land of plenty and sexual liberty yet to be conquered. Our western world might have now conquered it, but with gross exaggerations of nihilistic vulgarity that the package of the above suggestions, along with the other pages of our Hot Series, let alone the reform in civic and ethical behavior proposed by this website and the overall PythagorArium, are meant to correct. 

17. Investment - The above would be an incredibly positive investment for the future of the country from more than one point of view. All the additional children would certainly be a long term investment for the country, as additional future tax payers. All the tax cuts and benefits offered by the state would be largely compensated quickly, in the space of a generation or two, in terms of new taxes being paid by a growing number of new and young tax payers. The main investment however would be cultural and in terms of improvements to education through more stable and more loving families and consequently also in terms of improvements to all our civic environments. From a cultural point of view, this kind of legal framework of family laws would help tremendously to ensure our precious national cultures are maintained at their best and as we want them to be for the future generations.   

18. Meritocracy - All the above benefits are based strictly on the philosophy of Meritocracy, and encouraging the phasing-in of more Meritocracy is one of the fundamental objectives of the EthoPlasìn (see our separate page on Meritocracy). The above suggestions are meant to help fight the catastrophic nihilistic spirit of our times that brought in a mentality that caused the dismantling of stable families, instead of encouraging their noble and meritorious efforts, and brought in the lowest nativity rates of history of civilization in the Western world. Something drastic has to be done to help reverse the catastrophic trend that may cause our destruction as a civilization in the space of only one or 2 generations if we do not act now.  

19. Time for Survival Action - This is time for action in order to resolve our most serious demographic problem. With our current fertility rates, our traditional culture is bound to disappear completely in the coming 25 years. To the contrary, the Islamic world has had great success in spreading their culture through demographic means. In fact, through immigration in particular, mostly clandestine immigration, they have had so much success, in the last 25 years, that, if the trend continues, our Western World will soon become an Islamic annex to their traditional territorial area in the next two or three generations. However, what Islam does today is not much different from what happened with the French population of the Canadian province of New Brunswick years ago, although under the auspices of the Catholic religion instead of Islam. This led New Brunswick to become quickly a Canadian province with such a solid French block of citizens that they could force the election of a French Prime minister for the first time. It also led the province to become the only other one in Canada with an official status of 'bilingual province' apart from Québec. The package of suggestions of this page could have the same kind of effect on the overall western world, that is an effect very similar to what happened with French fertility in small New Brunswick years ago and to what is happening now with Islamic fertility in Europe in particular. It is late, and it is time for us to wake up and take the necessary means and steps to have a similar kind of success in maintaining our own traditional western culture. We could not find any good presentation or video on the New Brunswick phenomenon in Canada but many do exist on the Internet about the Islamic phenomenon in Europe. Here is an excellent one, prepared by demographic experts in a way that might be a bit overly dramatic, and may even contain some minor inaccuracies, but is nevertheless right on the basic facts, and very close to what the reality is in describing the most serious demographic problem  of the Western World: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-3X5hIFXYU. Our purpose however in showing this video related to the Islamic phenomenon is not to oppose what Islam is doing (and rightly doing so for the preservation and the spreading of their own Islamic culture), but rather mainly to make us wake up and maybe emulate them somehow in taking the appropriate measures needed to at least maintain the present levels and essential elements of our own Western culture, along with the clear advantages we see in it, as the hard, and long last, conquered values, and life style, we cherish, and probably do not want to loose in only a couple of generations. In other words, New Brunswick and Islam may be, in some of their ways, good examples to follow for the survival of our own culture. The suggestions of this page are formulated in this constructive survival spirit. If there is a price to pay, that price is really only a vital investment on our future and our survival as a culture. The two main measures we have to take to resolve the situation is first by stopping clandestine immigration. Our western countries need immigrants, but not clandestine immigrants. Second, we have to change drastically our social and taxation policies in order to encourage the fertility rate of the families of our own nationals. Without these two measures being implemented drastically and seriously, our western culture is bound to disappear in the space of not more than two generations... In some western countries in particular, like Holland and Belgium where about 50% of all children born are Muslims already, if the present trend continues or increases its strength, the disappearance of the western culture might even happen in the short time frame of the generation growing up now...